| holy shit |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|09:42 pm] |
so its been like forever since ive fucken updated this shit and now i think i forgot how to use this journal shit...so there is alot of shit going in my life right now... im honestly to the point where i dont even know what to fucken do...ok so most of the people reading this shit know that i got back with my ex like about 2 months ago but now there is alot of drama going on with her... she bascially wants to have me check. and out of all people, im not falling for that shit. i think i might call it off not only for that reason but also because i kinda think that i wanaa see other people. i wanna do the whole college thing and go out. i wanna meet new people. i dont want a commiment. i just wanna have fun. last week after getting fucked up at eric's party, adrian, jimmy and i went to dennys and i saw kerry there. she has been a homie for i dont know how long but it was awhile since ive seen her. well we exchanged numbers and we have talking like everyday. she is like that girl i can talk to about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. yesterday kerry, adrian, matt,yvette, and i kicked it at yvette's house...it was pretty cool...we were just messing arouind until like 3 in the morning. well i dont know what to do so people let me know
--fucken teacher hector-- |
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| TAKING MY LAST BREATH |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|11:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grumpy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spitalfield | ] |
As the many days and months have gone by. I have only been able to sit and wonder why. In my heart you were once kept, with you while you were not well, is where I once slept. I can still feel, and see the tears, that nite, you once wept. All I have ever wished was that you would be able to see, just how much I loved and wanted you to be. As tears now fall upon my face, I sit in a room, with all that is left in my heart, but an empty space. I should have known when I saw the angel begin to cry, that your love for me had begun to die. If I was only able to stop time, I would not be sad, and your heart would still be mine. If you only knew the love I held was real, if you only knew just how I feel. It seems that those last moments that I lived with you, will always be within my heart. when I close my eyes, I can still feel, that I'm missing that one part, that remains with you, in your heart. Oh wont you save me from this death, and keep me from taking my one last breath... wont you stop me from taking my one last breath... my one last... |
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| damn miller lite is good |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|08:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ac dc - highway to hell | ] |
well this weekend was pretty fucken shitty if u ask me. yesterday i slept till like 1 o'clock. the only reason why i woke up was because some guy was gonna come wash the carpet n shit. i had to take out everything that was in my room. supposably he was gonna be there at 2 but he didnt even show up until like fuckin 3:30. so that bitch made me hurry up for nothing. after that some family came over to see my grandmother. well for those of u who dont know my grandma has lung cancer. she was diagnosed in febuary so yeah. family came over and so they ordered pizza and shit and i didnt feel like being here so i called adinah but she was going to go to yoyce's party thing. yes, the one that i wasnt invited to. so i was like to much for hanging out with her. i called some other friends and everyone is busy so i was like what the fuck. i need some new fucken friends. so i ended up kicking with adrian and he was at some chicks house getting his mack on but he met me at starbucks. we got out drinks and we saw daniel reyna and tara lopez. so all four of us went over by fat burger to kick it. then adrian just left outta no where and decided to go finish what he started with that one girl so i was like ok fucker...what ever happen to bros before hoes.we daniel, tara and i kicked it till like eleven. i left to go shoot pool with some buddies and there was this fine ass girl at the pool hall. i was like oh shit. so im like trying to get myself together so i can go talk to her but right wen im heading over there so guy comes outta nowhere and it turns out its her man so i was like what the fuck. i swear i have the worst fucken luck. so i stayed there till about 3 in the morning and i got home and went online. i go online looking for adinah cuz she told me that when i got home to go online so that we could talk but she wasnt there so my dumbass knocked out. today was gay too. i woke up and went to church and the to the barber shop because my brother wanted a hair cut.after that we came home and it was fucken hot so i jumped in the pool like around 1230. i didnt get out till about 3. after that i went to go buy beer and wine coolers and started pounding. i started drinking at about 5 and its 820 now. i have had 6 miller lites and 2 budweisers. im kinda feeling a buzz but not really.i still need to go get my brother from his friends house. so yup. i have no fucken life i swear. i need to go out more n shit. but anyways i gotta go cuz my life is shit. i need to get me another beer |
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| im nervous...j/k |
[Apr. 21st, 2004|12:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taking back sunday-your own disaster | ] |
today i woke up to go to work, jumped in the shower and did all that other shit that i dont feel like writng. so anyways im going to work and there is a fucken train absolutely stopped on the tracks. so there is cars all around me and i cant move. i called the school where i work and told them and they told me that the train had been the is about 5 in the morning. so they gave me directions to go around. finally i went around and i get to the school and half ofthe teachers are missing because the stupid fucken train. alot of the buses were late as well as students that get dropped off by there parents. but class was pretty kick back today. no big problems. i left my job and went back to good old west covina high. i went to the office and adinah and brown amanda. damn today i realized she really is browm. dark fucken brown. her skin color makes her teeth glow but its all good she is a homie. so we chilled there and then adinahface and i went to starbucks. i felt really bad becausei didnt have cash. all i had was a stupid card with like one dollar and something cents on it. i took her back to the school and walked her half ways to where she was gonna wait for her dad. i swear adinah is gonna be like my female friend chick advisor best friend thingie. i really dont know what to call it. so i come home and i got some bad news but we all know what happen. lets just drop that cuz according to some advice i got i need to be more confident and forget about the past. so i guess this is a good way to start. so adianh tells me i need to explore with hat i have and all i see is me and my bucket...its so sad..LOL well im done with this shit...
Hector-fucken-Face |
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| why do i have this |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | story of the year-anthem of our dying days | ] |
i just fucken realized something today.why the fuck do i have this journal if the only person who reads it is adinah. i feel like a complete fucken idiot.but i guess its something that can were i can just go crazy and express myself. well this week was pretty cool. well on friday i woke up and did some shit around the house and then adinahface called me and asked if i could go pick up stephndawg and yoyce up and take them to her house so i was like sure. i was looking forward to it because i wanted to see yoyce. it had been about a year since i've seen her so i guess i was excited. so i picled up steph and then yoyce. damn i saw yoyce and i was like damn she is beautiful. i didnt remember her like that. i knew she was pretty but not so much. so i took then to dinahs house and i left thinking that were gonna go to the beach later but NOOOOO we never fucken went...thanks dinah. so me and yoyce kick it for a while and it was pretty chill.nothing big. i just took her home and i came home myself and knocked out.yesterday was better than friday i guess. i woke up like at 11 and the very first thing that i did was call yoyce to say good morning. so we talked for a bit and then we decided to go out last night. i picked her up but we had no fuclen clue on what to do. we went to the movies but no showtimes. so we kicked it in my car a talked. we then went to my cousins wedding for a quick 15 minutes and off to the movies again.oh wait but before the movies i kinda asked her for a kiss and what do u know.....i got rejected.i guess im kinda used to it but it still kinda hurts but oh well. so we watched the girl next door. pretty good movie. after i just took yoyce home and the i knocked out.well today was just gay so i really dont wanna tlak about it. but tomorrow is my first day as a teacher. im looking forward to that alot. i really hope that goes well. well i gotta get to bed now so that i can wake up early an get ready.fuck i wrote alot. |
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| why me... |
[Apr. 15th, 2004|11:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ben harper--waiting on an angel | ] |
sometimes i wonder why shit always has to happen to. and it is always bad shit. nothing good ever happens to me at all.today me and my mom got in a big ass fight over a fucken stupid ass bill. it was just too lame. and then just like 20 minutes ago i get a phone call from the run away. and iver been confused about her for a while and she finally tells me that she doesnt want to talk to me. it just makes me feel like a complete fucken idiot because i try to be a sweet guy when it comes to a girl. i would go to her school, buy her lunch, buy her starbucks, and even take her flowers. and this whole time she is telling me that she likes me and cares about me. and the thing thats pisses me off the most is why do girls lead on guys if they know they dont feel like that for them. im sorry to say this but what a bitch. i feel like all she did was use me. just like every other girl i have fucken been with. no and check this out...she still wants me to go to prom with her...and guess what i told her...hell fucken no...im not that fucken stupid. i may look like it but im not. i guess i kinda knew that this day was coming but i still feel like shit. its like once again my fucken stupid ass fell for it. why cant i just find that girl who really does like me for who i am.i just dont fucken understand. damn i sure do yoyce isnt like that. talking to yoyce for 6 hours really helped me to get to know her. yes i said 6 hours.its a trip but she is the coolest person to talk to. i guess everyone and there mommas is going to the beach so i might go if yoyce goes. so yeah my life sux...nothing new
Waiting on an angel.
One to carry me home.
Hope you come to see me soon, cause I don't want to go alone,
I don't want to go alone.
Now angel won't you come by me.
Angel hear my plea.
Take my hand, lift me up so that I can fly with thee,
so that I can fly with thee.
And I'm waiting on an angel.
And I know it won't be long to find myself a resting place in my angel's arms,
in my angel's arms.
So speak kind to a stranger, cause you'll never know, it just might be an angel come,
Oh- knockin' at your door, Oh- knockin' at your door.
And I'm waiting on an angel.
And I know it won't be long to find myself a resting place in my angel's arms,
Oh- in my angel's arms.
Waiting on an angel.
One to carry me home.
Hope you come to see me soon, cause I don't want to go alone,
I don't want to go alone,
don't want to go,
I don't want to go alone. |
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| ????????/ |
[Apr. 12th, 2004|04:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the used | ] |
well i guess this is the journal that adinahface wanted me to start. well i hope people actually write in this shit cuz last time NIKo kept my journal. fucken niko. well holla back |
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